Finality and Transition
Finals are approaching -- for many of us this can be a stressful time. When we say something is “final,” it implies the end. Usually, it is the end of something very good, such as a class. A final is a way for us to showcase the knowledge we have gained and our readiness to take on what is next.
However, that “next” can be a difficult and scary proposition sometimes. It can be difficult for any number of reasons. I have the opportunity to experience numerous transitions in my life, some of which I have handled better than others. A few principles have helped me to encounter these transitions, principles that I would like to share with you.
ACCEPTANCE
Acceptance is a critical phase in the transition process, because most often the transition is something in which we have no control. In transitions both big and small, the first step is acceptance. Attempting to reject a transition can lead to more difficulty. In one of my most difficult transitions, I sought to reject the transition as it had begun, and I thought of everything I could to try put things “back to the way they were before.” However, this living in the past only made me more unhappy in the present. It wasn’t until I was given this advice from a close friend that I started to see and accept the current state in life as reality.
TIME
Giving myself time has always been difficult for me. I have always been a driven person, and have often thought that with enough hard work, anything is possible. Yet, that’s not the case with transitions, and we cannot just work our way into being comfortable in a new life experience. I’ve read different studies and articles on transitions and time, but it seems that most agree it takes a long time: months to even a few years. If we aren’t settled after a few weeks or a few months, we must give ourselves grace to continue to try to do our best each day. We will slowly settle in. Perseverance for such a long time is a difficult concept, but we can do it.
COMMUNITY
Here at GoodCo, our mission is to bring people together in a world of isolation. The importance of a community of family and friends is essential in a time of transition. Referring back to the most difficult transition I experienced, it was a direct result of not having community in a new place. Sometimes this lack of community is a result of things outside our control, but we must seek to develop a community. The power of authentic friendship cannot be overstated. If you are having a hard time finding a community here at KU, let us know at GoodCo. We want you to be a part of our community.
Many of us are transitioning to new challenges, new experiences this summer. Remember that transitions are hard. As the finality of certain experiences approach and these transitions are on the horizon, if we remember to accept the transition for what it is, give ourselves time as we encounter the transition and foster a community, we will excel through the transition and into our next phase in life.
On the topic of finality and transition, this will be our final blog post of this academic year. On behalf of Brenna, Kate, Rachel and myself, it has been a pleasure to read, write and blog with you this year. As we go about our personal transitions, we leave Thursday Thoughts in great hands and hope you’ve enjoyed this blog’s journey over the last nine months. Be sure to check-in this Fall for more great blogs.
Good Company is a ministry at the University of Kansas. We seek to bring authentic connection in a world of AirPods.
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